Killing Paul Gaither.

Paul Gaither. Ooooh i hate him. i don't have a picture of him so here's him on MS Paint:









That's an original Paul Gaither shirt, by the way. i can't say i've ever seen a gayer shirt on a straight guy.

Paul Gaither is just about the most clueless kid i've ever met. Every day when he sees me he'll give me that insanely creepy Paul Gaither smile, and put his arms out like this:







Which is Paul Gaither Code for "Paul Gaither wants a hug." And then, as you can see, he'll say "Hey, girl." Every day. So i'll go over and give him a hug because i can't be mean to nerds, and then he'll say "How you been?" and i'll say "Alright." And he'll say "What you been up to?" And i'll say "Not much." And then he usually asks me, "So, you broke up with that boyfriend yet?" And i'll go "Nope."

So today's adventures with Paul Gaither went like this: In the lunchroom this morning when i was sitting with Felix, Lonner, Shantay, Christy, and Stan, i heard my name called. i said "Paul Gaither is behind me, isn't he?" And Lonner said, "Yeah, he's over there." i turned around and he did that move...ugh that move...and while i was getting up from my seat i went, "God, i hate that guy," under my breath to Lonner and Felix. Then like a trained puppy, i went over and gave him a hug. i was already feeling like i was going to puke my guts out (i feel like that almost every morning, i tell my friends i'm pregnant and having morning sickness :D) The conversation went pretty much like it does every day...until Lonner, who stands at six feet and an inch and is at least 200 pounds....came up behind me and punched Paul Gaither in the balls.






Paul Gaither went down...ooh god he went down, down, down...it was so fucking funny. i wanted to give Lonner a big hug while Paul Gaither stood doubled over, holding his nuts...

And then ten minutes later Paul Gaither called me over again. .... He said something about going after Lonner later (it's hard to understand him with that heavy Southern accent and not-yet-broken-high-pitched voice). And then he said the scariest words i'd heard in a veryy long time..

"Girl, i'm gonna get your number and call you later, 'kay?"

i just said, "Okay, Paul. Bye."

You know, if i was a bitch, i would fuck around with Paul Gaither. i would throw Paul Gaither looks that say, "i'm horny," i would give Paul Gaither long hugs and lightly grab a handful of Paul Gaither ass, i would whisper in Paul Gaither's ear and wink and smile at Paul Gaither...and then when he asks again if i want to go out, still say no. But, no matter how much fun that would be, i could never because i'm not that mean. Not to mention it would have everybody asking, "Are you seriously going out with Paul Gaither?"

So i'm going to see how long Paul Gaither is going to keep this up. i guess you would call this a new bit on my blog, but who knows, maybe tomorrow Paul Gaither will finally give up. i don't know, but i hope you guys like it. Leave a comment, s'il vous plaît? i love you people. The general public kicks ass. d :